Centering Prayer and Contemplative Art Bring Me Peace

Monday morning, I joined the virtual Centering Prayer Group offered by the Cenacle Sisters, led by Sister Mary Peters. (cenaclesisters.org) That afternoon I joined contemplative artist, Lauren Little’s session on pencil and eraser art for grief and healing, offered through Spiritual Directors International. (sdiworld.org)

For days, my mind wouldn’t give me peace. I felt I was like a gerbil running around in a ball with continual thoughts of what I needed to do next: appointments for my ill husband; a need to let family know his latest news; the heating system technician is coming, what shall we have for the next meal.

I asked God to help me surrender my mind.

The one-hour Centering Prayer offered every Monday in October said there was no need to say if I can’t come to a session---awe, freedom from responsibility. Sister Mary Peters greeted us. We introduced ourselves. We were from several states and one person was from the UK.

A prayer was read. We listened to a Psalm. Sister Mary read scripture from the book of Matthew. We had time for Lectio Divina with the scripture. The next 20 minutes was Centering Prayer. A closing prayer was read. There was no group sharing. It was blessed group silence.

I heard the scripture from Matthew, deeply. I sat with that, and noticed how it resonated within me. Other thoughts came and went, as well as the outside sounds of park construction behind our condo. Jesus was there for me. Jesus let me know I was accepted as I was; that it was understandable that I had so many thoughts. That brought a tear and relief.

In late afternoon I joined the first of four Contemplative Creative Art sessions. There were 69 of us on the virtual screen for 90 minutes. After an explanation by artist, Lauren Little, I chose to shut my eyes for ten minutes while moving my pencil over my paper. At first my pencil moved slowly. Memories came. My pencil made short jagged lines, circles-lots of circles, as life memories came.

We looked at our papers and were guided with a few questions: “What did it bring up? How did grief shape us?”

We had a break-out session for 15 minutes to share with three other people. Then back to our papers for the ten minutes of pencil erasing. I chose to look at my lines while I erased them. I decided to keep certain marks. Again, we had time with guiding suggestions from Lauren Little which she called, “Shuttles.”

The “Shuttles” were: “I want to linger. I no longer. I still.”

After reflecting on the “shuttles,” I journaled: I no longer want to be in the pain of growing up, in thinking, reading, or writing. I no longer feel the need to hold up all others. I won’t judge me. I am still with God. I AM; no apology. I want to regain some softness in life. I don’t have to always be the strong one, but, instead, allow and accept my humanity.

My pencil movements had drawn a water lily among the marks. I had saved it. It reminded me of the beauty of a water lily that grows out of muck.

And, I want to visit Lake Superior again; my inner landscape. I painted.

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