Collage # 2---What Am I Longing For?

Are you ready for question number two? What am I longing for? I pondered the question for the weeks between our sessions, wondering, what IS my deepest desire?

With Collage #1—What Do I Love? I didn’t think about the collage before our group time together. I didn’t think of the word “fun”. However, the completed collage indicated “fun.” I understand why.

Before session #2, I printed photos of my family to put on the collage. I did this with a full, even weepy heart, and wondering if my family photos would be allowed (even though we were told not to judge what we chose or how the collage would turn out).

During our group time picking words and pictures, I struggled to choose just a few pictures involving trees and nature scenes. I ended up choosing pictures of a devastated forest scene beginning to recover from fire. The other was a forest scene of tall healthy trees with green-leafed plants below.

Words included were: HEALING, gentle, TIME TO WRITE, humor, ENJOY BEING ORDINARY, towards joy, Never Forgotten, Naughty good, joy inducing, The Lightness of Being, and Campfire.

In a silent wanting heart, I glued pictures of single yellow and red flowers, entwined with a red, circular, elastic fabric bracelet my granddaughter made me when she was nine. The words, “Never Forgotten,” sit beside it. (She’s our grandchild who died in 2021 during Covid-19).

A black and white sketched photo of a sitting, long-haired woman, with her hands embracing a swollen belly, and legs crossed, means God, nurturing Mother to me.

The words, “Naughty-good,” is what I call an unforgettable piece of a sweet, crunchy cookie dunked in milk. My grandsons now use that term, too, to indicate their delight in a dunked grandma snack.

While sharing my collage with our group, my shaking voice held back tears and building emotions of devastation. Devastation tucked in shattered dreams of my wounded family.

The group listened and commented on my family photos.

That evening I realized the collage was about one word; healing. I awakened at 3AM the next morning. I HAD to paint.

It is my deepest desire to have our family gather around a campfire in the forest, to share stories, amidst fireflies and stars.

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