Collage #3-Where Am I Now?

Where am I now? This is the last question of our three-session time together reflecting on our collage creations and reflecting on our lives.

At the end of session two, our facilitator gave instructions for the third and last session. She said, “Look around. Take notice of your life. Take one photo, print it, and bring it to session 3.”

In my part of Wisconsin, USA, five inches of snow covered everything. Sidewalks, already shoveled once, supported two inches of fluffy, white snow. During my early morning walk under a sunny blue sky, dark imprints of footsteps caught my attention. I immediately thought of my father; I thought of my father and me walking in the snow.

I was surprised. I hadn’t thought of him in a long time. It was comforting, even with my tears and thoughts, I miss him.. He died in 2008. I remembered a vision I had of him after he died. A native man (my father was not native), was standing on a hill playing his pipe. A wolf was sitting beside him. The ancient, longing sound of the pipe touched my soul, like the longing howl of a wolf. I saw Dad from behind, walking up a hill away from me. He looked sturdy, physically fit, and truly being himself. I loved it. It was as though I saw him eagerly entering the next place after death.

Now, if you read my book, you will know that walking with my dad was a rarity. You’ll know that my dad did not believe in God. You’ll know that I had some fear of Dad. Yet, my dad gave me a love of nature that to this day feeds my soul, my sense of God.

My relationship with my mother is another view of my life, a harsh, oppressive, death-producing view I will not enter today. Today I will talk about where I am now.

My collage has these words on it: The Life I Want To Live, Inclusion, The Paths, Circle, Home, Your Generosity, Fun, COMIN’ RIGHT UP, LAUGH, Together We Make a Difference. It has the print of footsteps in the snow.

Almost to the anniversary date, it’s four years since our granddaughter died. I can laugh. I can remember fun times with her. I can talk about her without crying. My life has gotten a little bigger doing what I love. My heart and mind still have monumental concerns for my grieving daughter’s heart, life, and family. My prayers and friends’ prayers are with her. I listen and do what I can, with and for them.

I have gotten braver. I recently got business cards to hand out for my book that include where to buy the ebook, audiobook, or paperback, and my blog and email addresses.

I’m re-involved in our church Creation Team, which is about our earth care.

My husband (who has been healthier since November) and I are getting out together at least weekly.

Even with our constantly changing, concerning, and frightening US government, I am okay. I pray and make a concerted effort to be at peace so I can add peace. Yes, I’m good.

I send my love. Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear from you.

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